GMC made a tsunami out of the Hummer EV during it’s world premiere on Tuesday. There was even a commercial featuring LeBron James narrating. There was also a cover of “Immigrant Song” and the Hummer just showing Mother nature who’s boss! But from a conservationist’s level, you have to wonder. Are we and the ecosystems around us deserving of such a huge machine? Maybe, but also maybe not? Here are some reasons why this new generation of electric-bromobiles should have you flipping from face to heel. Here’s why Hummers may still suck.
For starters, Hummers are war machines.
You can’t say that even the street-worthy model didn’t also terrorize terrorists. It’s as post-9/11 as we can get with vehicles. But as the war went away, down in talking points and in brownie points, so too did purchases decrease for the horde of Hummers. It took up too much space, too much fuel and too much bias against people who weren’t against the American way, but simply weren’t a part of the blueprint.
An Electric Truck? For $100,000??
We get it. Fossil fuels are fracking evil. But just because the climate crisis is making every petroleum business whimper in it’s diapers doesn’t mean that a luxurious monster should be allowed to have a charged and ready-to-go electric vehicle change the landscape. On average, the Americans each drive 31 miles per day. That’s barely half of all Hummers and their range. Do we really need all that mileage for something that could blow up in our faces!?
How real can these new technologies be?
So what if Hummers can crabwalk, climb cliffs with “extraction mode” and get rid of the roof? That doesn’t explain how many of these next-generation advances may have their drawbacks! Are the roof panels reversible or do they come with a “left” and “right” guide? Is there ABS installed but for lifting the clearance during “extraction?” What if the crabwalk gives me crabs? All this and more for a vehicle which has already sold-out. God save us all.